I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
