We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize