Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize