kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
