What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And then he peed in my hair
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