i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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