Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
