Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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