how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Randomize
