come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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