I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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