one might say we're banned from that church
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize