Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
