There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize