i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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