whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
