their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
