google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize