Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
