So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
