I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Someone shattered a urinal.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize