Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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