It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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