He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
