How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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