i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
whose ass print is on the piano?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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