Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
