Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
