I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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