My room smells like vodka and shame
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize