Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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