Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
