Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
