very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
