Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
