i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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