somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
