Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
