He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
