In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
