By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
