she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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