A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
