quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
