It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
