i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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