Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Less talking, more tequila
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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