you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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