He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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