Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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