There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
