Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
