Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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