So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
