its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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