I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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