Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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