For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
