she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
