I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
