She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
