Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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