What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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