apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize