The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
