Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The air was thick with penises
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
third nipple confirmed
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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