Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
