I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
pop tarts are not kleenex
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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