Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
