Don't make out with my wife yet
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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